A Problem Shared...

... is a Problem Halved.

It’s a well-known fact that men in particular keep things to themselves. We'd rather deal with our own stuff in out own way. Whether it’s an ego thing or not wanting to burden anyone with your problems, it’s no way to go.

Thankfully, mental health awareness is getting the publicity it deserves. With campaigns like ‘it’s okay to not be okay, men in particular are being encouraged to share their problems.

However, I know first hand how difficult it is to open up. I really did struggle to talk about how I was feeling and what I was going through. I was lucky in the sense that my wife can read me like a book and knew something was wrong. She had to pull it out of me by my fingernails but eventually I got it all out of my system and I felt all the better for it. It is in no way a fix, but it does release some of the burden and pressure you put on yourself to keep it bottled up.

I was lucky that I had someone who knew something was going on and was able to tease it out of me. But I still felt I owed it to my family to tell them what was going on. I didn’t feel strong enough to tell them all face-to-face and, as they live 130 miles away, I sent them an email. Doing this was a massive ice-breaker without having to directly open up. It meant when I next spoke to them on the phone and saw them in person, it was easier to broach the subject.

Failing both of these things, there are of course the Samaritans that have places you can go all over the country as well as a 24 hour phone line. There are also local charities that have out-of-hours walk-in centres.

I honestly believe that opening up to just one person is the first step in healing. Along with other methods of help, I found it easier and easier to open up. I'd never have been able to share my troubles 4 months ago but I found the more I talked about it, the easier it became. There is no way I would have been able to write this blog and share it at the start of the year.

I can’t state enough that the things i'm saying will not guarantee you will start feeling better. These are things that I have found to have helped me. Everyone is different and all I hope to do is show that it can get better. I am in no way a professional. If you are suffering do contact your GP.

www.samaritans.org

Thank you for reading. I wish you all well.

J.

Crawling Back From Below

People talk about hitting rock bottom, I could never really imagine what that would feel like, that was until October last year. I found myself sitting in the grotty toilets at work with a polythene bag over my head and cable-tied around my neck, crying, seeing no other way to make the pain go away. The reality was a far cry away from how I imagined taking my life would be. I thought it would simply being a case of drifting into a deep sleep as the CO2 replaced the last of the oxygen left in terrarium I’d formed around my head. Instead, my lungs started to burn and panic set in as a scrabbled at the bag trying to tear it open. Not only was I feeling broken mentally, but physically my chest hurt from trying to find air, and it did do for several days after.

The physical pain from my failed suicide attempt lasted longer than the mental anguish that lead me to attempt it in the first place. This was the turning point for me. I knew I could go no lower. It made me realise that these episodes of depression are temporary, that they will dissipate and there are ways to beat those demons.
I’m writing this hoping that my story will resonate with others that have their own personal battle with mental health. I want to show you that you can overcome them, and with the right support you can be happy, you can take your life back.
I’ve suffered with depression for the best art of 20 years. However, it was never diagnosed until September last year after being pushed to refer myself to Talk Plus by my wife. After recently leaving the Armed Forces, settling back in to civilian life took its toll and dragged me in to the worst episode of depression I have ever suffered with. Depression, along with other mental health issues, tends to have a trigger. For me, that trigger is change.

After speaking to a mental health specialist on the phone with Talk Plus, they signed me on to a course called Guided Self Help which used Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques. This consisted of four one-hour lessons which demonstrated a range of techniques that could be used to help manage all sorts of mental health issues. Although learning some great techniques that I know I’ll benefit from in the future, it wasn’t enough, and I was signed up by Talk Plus to see a counsellor.

Around the same time as being signed up for counselling, I had a particularly low day which led me to almost being catatonic. My wife scheduled an emergency appointment to see the doctor who prescribed me a course of anti-depressants. It took a few months to find the right type for me, but they have been a massive help in getting me back to being stable, as well as happy.

Tackling any sort of mental health problem is not simple, it takes work, time and a wanting to get better. Relying one method will also not lead to recovery. I have found it takes a combination of methods to begin to recover. The last year has been one of the most challenging years for not only myself, but my loved ones. But I’m overjoyed to say that I have come through the darkest periods of my life and am not only happy again but feeling stronger.

Below are a few points that I have found have helped me get myself back on track.

•TALK! A problem shared is a problem halved! Do not bottle up what you are feeling.
•Start a journal – if you feel you cannot talk about your problem, start with a journal. Getting down what you are feeling on paper can really unload some of what you are feeling.
•See your doctor. There is a stigma behind taking medication to help woth mental health, but taken properly can help you so much, just do not solely rely upon them!
•Talkplus – there are many organisations around the country that are set up to support you. They can and do help!
•Make time for yourself – do something you enjoy!
•Food, drink, exercise, sleep – a balanced diet, keeping hydrated, sleeping well and exercising all help boost your mental health.

Massive thank you to Lauren for allowing me to share part of my story on her blog.If we can relate to just one person and help them battle their demons, we have succeeded. You are never alone. A link to her blog, as well as the Talk Plus website can be found below -

https://laurenailie.blogspot.com

www.talkplus.org.uk

Thank You

J.